How can you pour into someone if your glass is empty? A question I’ve asked myself more and more in the past year or so. As women, we are givers of life and love. It’s supposedly an innate ability we were born with. To love freely, openly, & allegedly without waiver. I question however the validity of the extent of our love.

Are we really predestined to love unconditionally or has society conditioned us to believe that women are supposed to love without conditions? Furthermore, what does loving without conditions truly mean in the context of a womans love? Does it mean we should be willing to cast our core values to the side and accept less than? Or does this simply mean we just accept someone in their entirety? And what happens when who they are does not correlate with our needs and our core values? Do we then just stop loving them all together or are we really expected to not love until the conditions for our needs have been met? I have questions and I hope somewhere on my journey I gain some solid answers, insight, or clarity.

I have trudged along for some time now being a giver of love. Constantly pouring into the men I choose to love, filling them up with confidence, knowledge, & that love they tell you about in love stories. Don’t get it confused, I love love so I won’t lie about that or pretend, but I dont give it to any and everyone. I am not so desperate for anything that I’ll accept anything. I have truly loved only 4 men in my life. When I love, I love with no restraint. No brakes as they say ha! But through my love experiences, I’ve learned that I’ve made the mistake of continuing to pour into those I choose to love without first pouring into myself. Somewhere along the way, I lose sight of the fact that I, too, need to be full long before I begin to pour into anyone else. None seem to honor my cup the way I have theirs. The world stops when I’m in love and I keep plunging deeper and deeper until I lose myself.

Wow…clarity finally! 30 plus years of loving incorrectly will have you out here behind in life and behind on yourself. I’m 30 trying to figure my shit out so that I can break this generational curse. This cycle of loving a man so much I forget to love & nurture myself first.

I wrote a list last 2 weeks ago of all the things that make me happy. I intend to spend my time working through that list to ensure that I experience everything in this life that makes me happy to its fullest extent. My children, painting with a twist, traveling, the beach, summer rain, concerts, outdoors,reading, writing, and being loved & appreciated. Yikes- the last one I know, but I’m being honest. It’s my unfiltered truth. I’ll work on everything at the top first and foremost. I’m realizing that while it makes me happy, I can’t rely solely on that love or I’ll keep on pouring into those cups and neglecting myself.

What I’m saying is simple: work on doing what makes you happy first. Fill yourself with vast knowledge of self and the world & everything you love to do and experience. What’s meant to be ours will come and we’ll attract it naturally without force.